Where is home?

My jet lag is gradually clearing after the long flight back to my adopted country of New Zealand, following a return visit to my native country of England.

Unlike many other expats, I am fortunate enough to be able to make this journey every year.

My annual expedition requires lots of forward planning, and is not so much a relaxing holiday as an intensive round of both joys and challenges. It is always different and always worthwhile. And it always highlights the fact that life is full of paradoxes, that we cannot ‘have it all’ but often need to find a compromise between opposing choices.

Some decisions are basically trivial: Whether to stock up on clothes from Marks and Spencer, or keep my suitcase light? Whether to go for the convenience of staying in one central base, or make the extra effort of traveling round the country?

Then there are the deeper dilemmas: Whether to attempt the near-impossible and exhausting ideal of visiting all of my friends and relatives each year, knowing there are some I may never see again? Whether to stay long enough to make the trip really worthwhile, although it means being away from my husband and family in Auckland?

The Bach flower remedies Scleranthus for indecision, and Honeysuckle for nostalgia, might be helpful for some of these issues but none can solve the underlying question – where is really home? I appreciate the privileges of having citizenship of two countries which I love equally, and of being able to spend time in both. It is just rather unfortunate that they are nearly 12,000 miles apart. One day I may have to choose, or find that fate has chosen for me.

Retirement – road to freedom

I had a long talk with a friend who is reluctantly having to consider early retirement because of a chronic illness. Hoping to bring some encouragement into this difficult situation I reflected on how my own life has developed since retiring from my career in orthodox medicine in my early 50s – the same age my friend is now.

My decision to retire was made by choice, and largely for positive reasons, and therefore a far less traumatic experience than if it had been enforced by sickness or redundancy. All the same it involved significant change and loss, with big drops in both income and status.

It took time to adjust, and to create a new way of life. My husband and I moved to New Zealand, where most people we met had little knowledge or interest in what we might have achieved career-wise back in the UK. Relationships and activities had to be based on personal qualities, rather than position and qualifications and an existing network.

I extended my studies of holistic healing – discovered the challenges and rewards of being self-employed – returned to choral singing and music lessons after a lapse of 40 years – started writing on a wider range of topics – became more involved with animal welfare – made new friends – had more time for leisure and entertainment – and my fitness and energy improved. Some activities were planned, some presented out of the blue.

I do still miss my old job now and then, and occasionally get the feeling that I ‘ought to be doing something useful’ – though I have learned that there are many valuable ways of contributing to the world besides working directly in a caring profession.

But overall my experience has been positive, and I am glad to have been able to retire while still young enough to start afresh. What I value most is the freedom – being able to do what I choose without being accountable to authority or hampered by bureaucracy – and, by no means least, not having to get up so early in the mornings any more.

Simplify

One of the first topics covered on the life coaching course I took a few years back was ‘clearing the clutter’. Disposing of any excess ‘stuff’ in your physical environment, completing any half-finished tasks you have been putting off, and handling any chronic minor irritations, will help your daily life run more smoothly and leave more energy available for things you find enjoyable and worthwhile.


New Year is a good time to clear the clutter and to simplify. Buying myself a new bookcase this week gave me the impetus to reorganize the collection of books, journals and unpublished manuscripts which has accumulated in my office over the years. I must admit that I couldn’t bring myself to throw too many items away, but at least the ones I kept have been dusted and put in order. Maybe I will want to read them again one day, maybe not. Though it would be sad to see the end of printed documents, I am aware of the environmental advantages of e-publishing which is definitely the way I intend to go in future.


Bach flowers relevant to clearing the clutter include Hornbeam, for those who feel weary at the prospect of starting their daily work, and Honeysuckle for those who tend to cling to the past. Dr Edward Bach himself was an advocate of simplicity, and possibly took it too far by destroying many of the original papers which formed the basis of his published works. However the books themselves are still available and one of these, The Twelve Healers, can currently be downloaded free from  http://bit.ly/ozN5U6 .

 
 

 

Holiday time

Here I am drinking champagne on Auckland’s harbourside to celebrate our recent wedding anniversary at the start of the holiday season.

After 10 years in New Zealand I am adapted to a summertime Christmas – and look forward to the annual events of singing with my choir at Midnight Mass and lunch next day with the extended family, then a peaceful January eating plums and figs from the garden and swimming in the sea …

Happy holidays to all my readers.